Writing my life out on the pavement

Finally.

It’s 10pm and she’s asleep in her crib. I take myself to the bathroom, I sit down and I start to contemplate life.

On the toilet. All by myself.

I start to wonder why on earth I’m going back to work so soon. And no, I’m not going back to work sooner than the normal 3 months, but damn it, 3 months is too soon!

Our daughter can’t take the bottle yet and I’m freaking out over how she’s supposed to eat while I’m at work.

Then that progresses to me not going back to work…..

Then to me finding another line of work. Possibly a remote position…..

Then I start to ask the question, “Why is this so hard and why does it have to be?”

I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I do know that I can’t be the only mom going through this same crap way of thinking right before their time with their baby is up.

It’s seriously so unfair. Why aren’t moms allowed to be with their babies until they’re at least 6 months old? Or better yet, a year old? This has always boggled my mind, but more so now that I’m in the midst of leaving my baby when she still very much needs me.
#parenting